When You Drop The Ball On The Course, You Need To Pick Up The Book!
Cheap Female Viagra alt=”Ulitmate Golf Fitness Guide” hspace=”5″ vspace=”5″ align=”left” />How often do you go to the course and plan to have the best game of your life and you leave with your tail between your legs and a score close to your weight in high school…
It happened to me this weekend, and I hate to tell people that because I was a porker in high school. So golf scores in the 3 digits is not something you want to tell anyone about. I walked out to my car cussing it up, my 7 Iron still in my clenched fist after taking my frustrations out on the gator from the 16th hole. I was so ticked off, that I drove the golf cart into the marshy area by the pond and got out and chased that gator into the deeper water, bouncing my 7 Iron off its tail a few times before it finally went under.
This guy who plays here quite a bit was getting out of his car, glancing at his Blackberry (I think one of his friends had texted him about my episode on the 14th green and how I 4 putted an easy birdie…) and laughing before quickly straightening his face to one of seriousness as he looked at me. “Alvin, I hear you have been having a time of it today!”
“Nah!” I said, trying to look calmer than I usually am after a crappy day on the greens. “Was no worse than usual, the gator didn’t even chase me when I played the 15th hole. Even when the ball landed right in his favorite sand trap!”
“That is what I mean, Alvin! You should be staying out of the sand traps, that would have been a 4 foot putt if you just stayed out of the sand. I think you need to get this book.” He pressed a few keys on his Blackberry and a link appeared on my cell phone.
“Thanks, Charlie, I will take a look at it when I get home.” I fully intended to delete that link as soon as I was out of the parking lot. But then, I thought about my loyal readers who definitely want to know more about how to straighten out their games. I mean, my game is totally self inflicted. Comes from those years of carrying around my pelican claw and not following through on my drives, but following through too much on my putts.
So when I got home I went to the website and took a look at the Ultimate Golf Fitness Guide. I hadn’t realized that I was unfit to play golf until I read chapter 5… Oh my God! I can’t believe the grounds crew don’t come and drag me out of the clubhouse and run over me a few times with their mowers…
You want to make sure you can play when you walk into the clubhouse, because those geezers are out to take your money. They will bet on whether you can get your drive past the second oak tree on the 3rd fairway or whether it takes you 4 or five strokes to get out of the bunker on 17, but I always seem to confound their wildest imaginations (I swear it is that pelican foot).
That is all I am going to discuss with you today, because the time is getting short, and it may rain again tomorrow, so I want to try and get 15 or 16 holes before the lightning gets too bad and we have to go in. That means I have to get up really early and play with flashlights. (Don’t tell the greenskeepers that I do that, they’ll really want to take me out and beat me)
Lets face it. We are the face of golf.
Without our weekly (or daily in some of our cases) treks out to the course to walk, drive, crawl or swing our way around 18 holes… the golf industry would not care about Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson or any of the other tour players.
We buy the stuff that these players promote. If I had not gone out and spent nearly $500 on my last set of Ping Irons, someone’s family would not have gotten Christmas presents in Pingville!
Courses would not keep the grounds keepers employed, they would not be able to put fuel in the mowers or get the grass seed if I did not single handedly go to the course everyday except those days that don’t end in the letter y!
So let’s show them in the land of sports casting that we don’t believe in no stinking recession! Play golf! Swing low and aim high! Follow through, because that is the only way you can get your club into lightning rod range!
Obviously, you can tell that this is not going to be an ordinary golf website!
I am far from ordinary!
My name is Alvin Dartmoor, and I am a golfaholic. When my webmaster told me about pingbacks, I thought we were using my golf clubs!
Anyway… I would appreciate it if you would talk to me. It gets lonely when I am not on the course. I miss the alligators on the 17th fairway at 7:45 on Sunday mornings (when I hit them, they chase me, so I miss them on purpose). Actually the fun part is letting them grab your old drivers and dragging them around the course with the golf cart… but they leave some pretty big divots, and I am NOT getting out of the cart while that thing is still attached to my driver!
Leave comments, tell me about what courses you like to play, what clubs you use and how often you like to play. Who knows, maybe I will invite you to come play 18 holes with me (so we can terrorize the gators).