Why Do We Care About Tiger Woods?
I remember when Tiger and his dad came to my home course… I never in my wildest dreams imagined that he was going to be the world famous golfer he now is. Heck, I almost fell over when I saw him on my computer game. Of course, it was named Tiger Woods Golf, so I suppose I should have been prepared, but actually seeing his likeness sneering at me when I miss the putt on the 14th hole… it is unnerving.
His father would show him which club to use, which beers to drink and where the cutest barmaids worked in the Clubhouse. Oh wait, I am thinking Cheap Accutane of my pop! He also showed me which club makes the gator go back toward the pond when you get close to the 15th hole. (I swear my pop had a cattle prod in that club, because all he had to do was take the cover off the 2 iron and that beast would grunt and turn around and scamper toward another unsuspecting golfer on the 16th green.
But Tiger Woods had a drive that could scare a gator, and a lot of us older golfers, too! When I played behind them, I would watch in admiration at the power swing and then try to imitate it for my own (much to the chagrin of the rest of the party – because they had to help me find the ball…) and failed miserably!
So when the news broke the story about Tiger’s accident… I was shocked! First of all that he was driving at night, and then that he hit a fire hydrant! I mean, those SUV’s will clear most fire hydrants! But apparently he was not paying attention.
What came next was the part that almost knocked me on my backside!
He was having an affair! What kind of nutcase goes out with some common chick when he has the top of the line model at home? I mean, really! That is like me asking to borrow one of the rental putters instead of using the $197 Ping Super Putter that almost swings itself to get the ball in the hole. (Hmmm the swinging itself part may be what the situation is for Tiger… but I digress)
But if Tiger wants to drive on other courses, it is between him and his greenskeeper, not the general public, after all it is not you and I who have to clean up the mess. Tiger is grown up, and I think he was listening when my pop would point out the waitresses at shift change (after all, we were in the bushes at the 11th hole, where we had a perfect view of the parking lot and the clubhouse staff entrance) because he didn’t want to shoot until after he went to the restroom (which also had a clear view of the clubhouse and parking lot) so they would let the next golfers play through.
Anyway, sorry I keep reminiscing… this is good stuff, I wish we could all go back to those days before Tiger won his first major! Mainly because we could joke around with him about the gator and other things (like when we would leave a trail of golfballs from the 14th rough to the pond… right next to the place where the gator laid her eggs) but that usually backfired on us.
So when the papers are having a field day with Tiger’s confession, the rest of us at the course are trying our best to imitate him… Vinny Macciolini drove his golf cart into a granite marker, I would start on the back nine but mark my score on the front nine… Pops would get on the PA and announce that he had gotten a hole in one, then he recanted and told everyone that it was something that he wanted to keep to our little foursome and not the whole course.
But we are being insensitive.
Tiger’s wife is the victim here. She looks in the mirror and then at the tabloid photos of the supposed mistresses that Tiger is driving with. I hear she is making Tiger get his eyes examined! Let’s all take up a collection and cover the price of the contacts…
Discussion Area - Leave a Comment